We Are Way Too Trusting
and yet not trusting enough
I’m struck by how much we talk and think about things that aren’t true. We devote so much time dwelling on, discussing and defending falsehoods, half-truths, and figments of our imaginations. We fill our minds, the air, the interwebs and the airwaves with exaggeration, prevarication, and propaganda. Honestly, I think we discuss true things only very rarely.
One of my best friends, a virtual titan of business, talks vulnerably about how he’s convinced his mind works more slowly than his peers. It does not. He’s one of the most brilliant and wise people I know. It’s always him (and my father) that I check in with when Jenn and I are wrestling with big questions or decisions. And speaking of Jenn! She’s an astonishing physical beauty but talks often about how she’s not. It’s quite something, actually. And then, me! I’ve thought so many thoughts over my 51 years about how unattractive and unlovable I am. It started early, when friends paired up to “go steady” with the girls in my primary and middle schools, and I did not. I continued to wrestle with beliefs like these in high school, in college, and into adulthood. I still do.
We’re just too trusting. When the evil whispers come — from the world, from the enemy, from our insecurities — we question them very little or not at all. You’re dumb. You’re boring. You’re a loser. You’re ugly. You’re awful. You’re forgotten. You’ll never be good enough. To such messages, we apply virtually no critical thinking. And that’s not all because we double down when someone else questions them on our behalf. You don’t understand. You don’t know what I know. You’re just being kind.
I get to have lots of conversations with many different men. The common thread among them is that we’re certain. We’re certain about the worst things we believe about ourselves. We’re stubbornly certain about lies; we defend them with vigor.
We can see the falsity of the fictions others believe, of course, just not our own. I can see how wrong my friend is in his intellectual capacity and capability. I’ve known him for decades. I sat on a board with him for years. He’s scary smart. I can also see how wrong my wife is about her beauty. We’ve been married for nearly three decades. I see her every day. I know her better than anyone in the world. She’s stunningly beautiful, inside and out. Period. But when the lies are about me, whether I am worthy of connection and belonging, they don’t seem so false. And so, I hold onto them. Tighly. Never more so than at 4:00 a.m. in the dark.
Why do we have such a dysfunctional relationship with the truth? Believing what we believe, how can we justify indulging so many untrustworthy sources of information and largely ignoring the one source that’s never wrong and never minces words? Knowing what we know, how can we account for trusting ourselves so much and not trusting God? How can we explain trusting and agreeing with our culture and its media when none of the people crafting messages on their behalf know us or have our interests in mind? And how can we defend trusting and agreeing with any messages so vile that they can come only from an enemy who hates us?
Why don’t we let God’s truth sink deep into our hearts when he tells us …
I am the God of the Universe, and you’re my sons and daughters (see John 1:9-13, Rom. 8:12-17, 2 Cor. 6:14-18, Gal. 3:23-29, Eph. 1:3-6, 1 John 3:1-2).
With painstaking care and precision, I made each of you just as I meant to (see Gen. 1:26-27, Ps. 139:13-16, Col. 1:15-20).
I see and understand everything; I understand each of you infinitely more than you understand yourselves (see Ps. 139:1-6, Jer. 1:4-5, 1 Cor. 10:13).
I am incredibly intentional, formulating each of your individual life journeys and setting you upon them (see Ps. 139:13-16; Eph. 2:8-10).
I love all of you outrageously; you are each precious to me; I sing over you and dance because of you (see Isa. 43:4, Zeph. 3:17, John 3:16, Rom. 8:38-39, Eph. 1:3-6).
I am for and want good for each of you, and I work for that good (see Gen. 1:28-31, Ps. 46:1, Jer. 29:11, Rom. 8:26-32, Phil. 2:12-13, 1 Pet. 5:6-7).
Though you may suffer, ultimately and soon, everything will be okay (see Ps. 34:4, 91:1-6; Prov. 3:5-8; Rom. 5:1-5, 8:18-25, 8:37-39; James 1:2-4, 1 Pet 5:6-11).
So, you don’t need to fear (see Josh. 1:9; Isa. 41:8-13; Matt 6:34; Luke 12:22-34, John 14:1,27; Phil 4:6-7, 2 Timothy 1:6-7, 1 John 4:18).
These eight truths change everything. As we allow them to become the foundation of our existence, nothing will ever be the same. Joy and peace will slowly replace fear and shame. Purpose and significance will return in greater measure.
So, what are we waiting for?
Let’s make a decision together right now to start believing these eight truths a bit more and everything else in the world a bit less. Together, let’s start acting like the sons and daughters we are.
Wm. Paul Young wrote “Lie #1: God Loves Us, but Doesn’t Like Us”
John Eldredge wrote “Those Sneaky Agreements”
Sample ➼ “God’s Pursuit of Man” by A. W. Tozer
Sample ➼ “Breathing Eden” (for women) by Jennifer Camp
Sample ➼ “Invention” (for men) by Justin Camp
We updated Rapt’s ‘Best of’ lists this week. Lots of new stuff!
The Bible compares the journey of faith to a race. Many runners start off with great intentions. Far fewer finish strong. How can you be one who endures to the end in a world where so many fall short of that goal? In these confusing times, we don't need more opinions or life hacks. We need timeless truth. In his new(-ish) podcast, John Bevere and guests offer conversations that will help you anchor your life to God's Word so you can build an unshakable faith.
Curtis Chang is a consulting professor of innovation and organization at Duke Divinity School and the author of “Engaging Unbelief.”
Melody Carlson is the award-winning author of more than 250 novels and novellas with sales of more than $7.5 million.
Winn Collier, a pastor for 28 years, now directs the Eugene Peterson Center for Christian Imagination at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, MI.
Martha Bolton is an Emmy nominee and the author of 89 books. She wrote for Bob Hope’s prime-time television specials, appearances and military shows.
Sara Billups is a Seattle-based writer and cultural commentator whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Christianity Today, Ekstasis and others.
Asheritah Ciuciu is a national retreat speaker, YouTube Bible teacher and bestselling author of 10 books.
Barb Roose is a speaker and author who teaches women to live beautifully strong and courageous; she’s published multiple books and Bible studies.
Edward Holmes is an author and poet on a mission to spread hope into hearts through the written (and often spoken) word. His podcast is “Life Lines.”
Nan Gurley is an award-winning songwriter, singer, children’s book author and actor. She also co-hosts the “Women Who Dare to Believe” podcast.
Claude Atcho is the pastor of Church of the Resurrection in Charlottesville, Virginia. He was previously a professor in Boston.
Caroline Fausel is the blogger behind Olive You Whole, a clean-eating and lifestyle site that helps women live healthier, more intentional lives.
Norman Hubbard is a speaker, the author of four books, and is on staff with The Navigators, serving in leadership and resource development.
Kevin Chapman is an author, teacher and internationally recognized expert in the assessment and treatment of anxiety and related disorders.
Shemaiah Gonzalez is a writer who thrives in moments where storytelling, art, literature and faith collide. Her Substack inspired her forthcoming book.
Chad and Adaeze Brinkman wrote “White Boy, Black Girl: What Our Differences Can Teach Us, One Honest Conversation at a Time.”
P.S. Who should we interview next? Click here to let us know. And what new question would you like us to ask them? Click here to submit your suggestion.
“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” —John 8:32, ESV
I have a few questions for you today:
Will you reread the bolded bullets above? Will you let those truths sink deeply into your heart? Will you print them out and start your days with them? Will you save them to your phone and remind yourself of them when life gets hard?
Will you also tell a friend the worst things you believe about yourself? Just saying them out loud will help you better see their untruth. But giving voice to what you think might also help your friend. Whenever someone confesses the worst things he or she believes about himself or herself, it allows others to pray and speak in the opposite, of course. But it also causes the listeners to ponder: If their beliefs are so wrongheaded, maybe the things I believe about myself are just as wrong.
We’re in this together, my friend — and I am very grateful for that.
Editor-in-Chief, Rapt Interviews & WiRE for Men
Co-executive Director, Gather Ministries
Thank you for these words! Truth that nourishes my soul.